Case study 2 - “He cut myself with a knife, pokes me with a burning fork just right on my breast and ties me with a rope and hangs me upside down …”

20/08/2012 14:21

I have been married for six years. My father warned me of my husband’s family because he knew them very well, but I didn’t listen to him, because I love my husband very much. But now, all what has been explained to me by my father before I got married are all happen and it’s true.

At the very first day we marry he starts beating me. His father owns a piece of land at one of the island here in Tonga and we move there and planting Kava to make money.

We both work hard but especially myself, looking back at home to my parents they were both too old and not in good health.

We got very good money from our Kava plantation, but my husband spend it all at once without giving me any of that money. He spends it on alcohol, drugs and on women. I fed up with his behavior, so I decided to come back to Tongatapu and stay with my parents.

One night he calls and told me to open the gate for him and I told him to go away and stop bothering me because I’m sleeping. I thought he play a joke on me, because at this time he was still at the island, but he keeps on telling me to open the door and I hang up the phone.

He rang again and kept telling me to open the door because he’s outside and I told him off and he told me to open it or he’ll kick it to open and he swears at me. This time I know for sure that he’s outside. I was scared and my stomach starts aching and I felt weird.

He came in and starts yelling at me who’s I’m having an affair with and I have to make up a name as to answer him because it was better for me to lie at this time or else he’ll do something to me.

I was so scared because I knew him very well and all what he has done to me. There were times he cut me with a knife, he poke me with a burning fork right on my breast, he tie me up with a rope and hang me upside down and bunch and kick me continually while hanging there until I felt down.

 I couldn’t believe that the man I love and chose to be my husband will ever do these things to me. It was not only me he abuse but also my parents. If my parents approach him with something or for doing nothing at home, he told them off and tell my parents “I wasn’t born to do anything, I was born to eat, sleep and roaming around.” He hates my parents and he tells them off and don’t speak to him because he’s just coming for his wife and kids, not them.

He doesn’t even care about my parents even when he beats me in front of them and saying bad words to me.

One day, on my way to town I decided to stop by at the WCCC and check with what sort of work they do if they can help me, because every time I went to town I always walk pass the centre and this is why I know them. I see one of their counselor and sharing her all the problems that I’m facing and she was so helpful and I was so thankful, and letting me know that they have a Safe House.

On my second visits to the centre it was a Friday, and that night I sneak to one of the rooms and call the Centre, I can feel that something will happen that night.  I was scared to go outside as I was instructed by the Centre to go somewhere safe and make my phone calls from and wait there until the police pick me up if something happens to me at home. 

At this time I’m really scared if my husband heard me if I open the door and at the same time I was still whispering on the phone with someone at the Centre to direct me to their Safe House but she kept telling me to hang up and go somewhere else is safe and call again.  I still don’t know how to get out safely so I walk inside our room and he start questioning me again,  all of a sudden he punch me right on the mouth and was the last thing I know. 

I woke up in the hospital with my sister beside me and my husband; I gave the centre’s number to my sister and ask her to call the Centre.  Someone from the Centre told my sister that they will report it to the police and they must be there soon.  In less than 5 minutes the police came and they took my husband then they came back for me. 

The doctor told me that I have to lie down for half an hour as I have heart problems.  The police took me from the hospital after half an hour to pick up my son from my parent’s home and from there straight to the police station. After taking down my statement they took me and my son straight to the Safe House.  I am still staying there now with my son filling my divorce, restraining order and maintenance.

I encourage you all girls and women, you don’t have to stay suffering at home, not only you but your children and your loved ones are also abused, you don’t deserve it and they don’t deserve it too.  Come forward and speak out, you can be helped.  I was afraid too but look at me now.  Even though it’s not over yet but I feel much safer now with my son and wait for our court case.