Seven years of marriage life, seven years of pain

I think to myself that he’s the right person, with his smiling face, soft voice when we were still going out. He love and care for me.

I was shocked after our wedding for a few months, I realized he have a new attitude. He gets angry all the time, show by his face and his voice and he starts drinking and going out with friends. At the same year I get pregnant on our eldest child. He first hit me when I was three months pregnant, because of not sitting with him at the kitchen until he finishes eating. At that time he was drunk. He punches, push and kick me and saying bad things to me. From that day, I cried and hurt myself of what he did to me.

It comes to a time, he wants me, whatever he said to me to be said it at once, do whatever he wants and never ask anywhere he’ll go, what he does and who is he texting with him on his phone, and if I don’t do that, he will do something bad to me.

The time he gets drunk, I always try to make him food for him to come and eat. Most of the time of our marriage life he always away from home especially at night time, and sometimes I didn’t know where he sleep that night until he came home the next morning.

One day he go out and return back until the next day he was drunk and I didn’t know that he gets angry because we didn’t have any meat but he did knew that before he go out that there’s no meat to have it with our haka (root crops). I was busy trying to make the fire to make the food, he gets a piece of wood and hit me on the head and I fell on the ground and out of conscience. Luckily one of our neighbor saw us and make his way to us, he told me that my husband was just stand there laughing. He tries to wake me up and he pours a bucket of water on me and I get up. He tries to take me to the hospital but my husband didn’t want him to and he stops me.

After a few months, I realized he spent most of his time on phone and texting. One day he gets ready to go to the bush, he left but he forgot his phone. His phone ringing and I know that he forgot it. I got his phone and it was a text message and I read it. From my understanding of reading the text message it is another lady that she’s staying with my husband on how she’s texting my husband. I send back a text message and tell her, never to text or call this number because he’s my husband and I am the wife.

After a while, my husband came back to take his phone and he left. Not even an hour from that time he came back again and start swearing at me, yelling at me why I touch his phone, is none of my business and who I am to touch it and never call to that number because I didn’t know who is she and she didn’t even know me. He slaps me on the face and punches me and keeps on swearing at me.

I cried on that day and think to myself I have to be brave to go to the police and make a complaint of what my husband is done to me and I was thinking to myself I’m worthless because he cares for other people not me.

The next morning, he went to the bush again, so I hurry myself to the police station to make my complaint. I was scared because this is the first time to me to make a complaint on my husband and I asked the police officer I can’t go back because I’m really scared of my husband if he knew it. The police officers told me don’t worry because there is a safe place he’ll refer me and my children to until our court case done.

We went to the Women & Children Crisis Centre’s Safe House until our court case done, and my husband was sentenced to be suspended for three years and I feel to myself I am safe and there is something to protect me and my children.

To all mothers and sisters out there, I encourage you, if you’re abuse at home, you have to stand up and do something to stop that violence to make a happy and a family free of violence.