“Don’t think that you’re nothing, do something to end violence”

06/08/2013 16:42

I got married when I was 17 and my husband was 21. My parents didn’t want me to get married but it’s my own choice.

We were very much in love. We have our own house.  My husband work every day and I stayed home and does our house work. We have a lovely time together at home, we talk to each other nicely, eat, play together and he was taking good care of me and we were staying happily.

After a year of our marriage, he start to do things that looks different to me as he uses to do before. He starts to come home late from work and he’s drunk. He talks to me in a loud voice, he swear at me, he starts telling me to do everything. All the good things that we have before is gone.

I got pregnant and on my 5 month pregnant, he came late from work one day, he was drunk already, he told me to iron his clothes because he will go out with his friends. He shouted and swore at me I was so scared and just did whatever I was told to do.

He came home after 4 o’clock in the morning, he wake me up to warm his food. I was so lazy to do it, he got my hand and threw me towards the door. He told me not to try him but do what he said and don’t give any words.

I gave birth on our child at the hospital he never came and see us. I call him but he said, he’s going to a party with his friends.  I was so sad and the same time I feel lonely with my daughter at the hospital.

We spent two days at hospital before going back home. When we get home he was not there and thank God the lady from our neighbor came and helps me because I was not feeling well.

The next morning my husband came he was surprise seeing us at home. He kisses me and baby he asks many questions about our staying at hospital. Everything he asked makes me feel angry at him. I swear at him and he slabs my face. I cry and I don’t know what to do. 

Whenever we had an argument I would apologies but he wouldn’t hear me. He would make me cry by threatening me and saying bad things to me. He always said to me, I have nothing at home, do what he told me if not he will punch me, and don’t ask anything from him. He also label myself that I was a school cut not know anything; the only thing I know is the pot at the kitchen.

I sat down one day and think about my husband of everything he has done to me and there was a time I told myself I will do something to let my husband know that I can stop all what he is doing to me and to end the violence.

One day he went to work. I went straight to the police station and take my statement and they tell me about the Centre if I need help. So I went to the centre and they help me. 

The police ask me if I want to talk with my husband before my final statement. I said yes, but I need my Counselor to sit in and do it at the police station. 

We have a good talk and sharing. They gave us time to talk about our family and our current situation. He confess all what I’ve said about him and he apologize for what he had done to me and our little girl, he ask me to give him a chance so he would change his behavior and he know all what he does is wrong and not good he will do everything that I want to. So I forgive him and I told him only one thing I want is for us to take counseling at the centre which it’s really helpful, he agree for it.  So I decided to went back home with my husband. We have a new life, new family and we start to have our happy family that we have before.  

 I encourage you women who are having problems with your husband, don’t thing that you a nothing, believe yourself and be positive and do something to end violence at home so that you live in a happy and safe environment which is free from violence.